How to keep LIVING and stop winding yourself up - Natalya Matyushchenko

In situations of uncertainty, when a person has no way of influencing, predicting or preparing for events in advance, there is often unrest and a heightened level of anxiety. And this can lead to a lot of stress.

Unpleasant bodily symptoms, loss of appetite or overeating, disturbed sleep and simply no desire to do anything are added. Many people give up, don't see the point of planning and don't understand how and where to go from here. It becomes difficult to carry out daily activities and to make the right decisions.

Of course, everyone copes differently, but in one way or another, such situations affect each person. 

I am a practical psychologist working with adults and children. People often come to me with panic attacks, anxiety and depression, loss of motivation and feelings of hopelessness.

I will share with you tips to help you support yourself in the midst of uncertainty and continue to LIVE regardless of the circumstances.

#1 Try to limit the time you spend watching the news

When there are some drastic changes in our lives, we really want to take control of the situation. It seems to us that if we follow the news all the time, we are up-to-date, so we can learn about something important in time and, as a result, be prepared. We get the imaginary feeling that we are in control, but we have to admit that in reality we are not.

It is also strongly discouraged to watch the news before going to bed.

It is enough to give yourself 15-20 minutes in the morning and you will know all the important news, if there is any.

#2 Direct your attention to what you can really control

You need to recognise that there are things we cannot influence.

Trying to control any change in a situation we have no control over is simply a waste of your energy. Wouldn't it be better to spend it on something useful?

#3 Don't be too hard on yourself

Anxiety is very exhausting and yes, you may feel tired, forget something or make mistakes. This is perfectly normal in a situation like this. Don't be fixated on mistakes. There is a lot of new information around us right now, and it's the kind of information that can make us anxious.

Give yourself permission not to be the perfect wife/father or employee of the month at work. It's not forever. Once your mind has adapted to the new conditions, you will continue to conquer the peaks, if there is such a desire.

#4 Keep doing the things you used to do

Every person has their own kind of rituals. These are activities that we perform regularly and therefore feel that there is stability in our lives.

It is important not to give up your usual activities (cinema on Fridays, swimming on Wednesdays, going out with friends on Saturdays, having tea with a movie in the evening, etc.). These are our anchor points.

What's going on around us can be upsetting and disruptive, but we definitely need the elements of our usual life.

#5 Look for positive emotions

Of course, situations may vary. And it's not always appropriate to have fun and have big celebrations. But just because you bought yourself a favourite ice cream, took a bubble bath or went for a walk in the park with friends doesn't mean you're a bad person.

You can still do something nice for yourself. Taking care of yourself is a huge resource that can help stabilise your emotional state.

#6 Give yourself time to worry

I give this technique in my sessions to people with high levels of anxiety.

Designate for yourself the exact time when you can worry about everything in the world, and if you are overwhelmed by worries during the day, you say to yourself, "I'll worry about it at 4pm" and put it off.

When the appointed time arrives, you can sit down, set a timer and worry for 15-20 minutes about everything that has accumulated during the day.

This way you don't displace or devalue your thoughts and feelings, but simply give yourself the opportunity to continue doing what is really important right now.

I'll tell you a secret, most of these experiences will not be relevant or will not be as intense by the time the "worry" time arrives.

That's it for today. I hope these simple guidelines will help you to keep LIVING despite the changing world.

You'll find even more useful techniques in my VK community. Looking forward to your visit!

Natalya Matyuschenko, psychologist.